deliriums
by balladofasadcafe
Summary: Short drabbles of each set in high school AU. Nezumi x Shion.
1. Feel

**A/N:** I am so grateful to my amazing beta **katBelle** for the help and taking my work serious!

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><p><strong>FEEL<strong>

"You are what you feel," said the teacher.

The classroom was dimly lit and outside dark, suspicious clouds were hanging above the murmuring trees. It was a spooky November afternoon and little raindrops were beating against the large windows almost gently. It was such a day when it is nice to hear from faraway vanishing echoes of a sad ballad.

"The thoughts and words are empty without feelings. Because it is feelings that force you to take action. It is feelings that inflame the bloody revolutions, deserved victories and miserable defeats. It is why we have senses in the first place. They are given to us to be able feel to the most extent. We are created to feel."

Students were quiet and there was a strange feeling of unspoken sentences.

"Nezumi's smell…" thought Shion. It is what I feel most. There is something about his bizarre scent, like an unpredicted, captivating climate. A mixture of old forgotten books, a wild jungle, and the odour of night itself that catches you off-guard. Just like those times you wake up in the middle of the morning and open the windows to let the shivering air in. Like when you take a breath too deep and choke on air too cold and too much and too wonderful. And it is in that very moment, for the first time, you understand how amazing it is to be alive. I know without seeing his face, without hearing his voice, without having a reason to be sure, just by his scent, that of all the people it is him alone. It is like freedom, Nezumi's smell.

"Shion's touch…" thought Nezumi. It is what I feel most. There is something about his burning touches like a familiar yet somehow forgotten melody. It is like a soothing whistle of your favourite tune brushing your ear, only with more passion. Just like tasting some kind of exceptional tonic, which can alone stimulate my inner consciousness. A warm beverage that goes through my veins; drawing out my desires, my needs, my hopes, my everything to the surface. My emotions are piles of blue litmus papers and only he can turn those papers red. It is only him who can reveal all of my secrets, one by one, and in doing so allow me to be more of myself — to be at ease. It's like home, if there is such place, Shion's touch.

The classroom was dimly lit and outside the light breeze was about to turn into a storm. The teacher's words echoed within the giant walls of the classroom and gradually disappeared in the air. The last word –_love_- though, lingered on. In the midst of that echo the boys' eyes met and stayed tied until the end of the class.


	2. Dream

A/N: Listen to this while reading .. watch?v=ZkFoPGRM4t4 (Thanks to my beta **katBelle** for help!)

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><p><strong>DREAM<strong>

It was Shion's first time hearing Gnossienne No.1. He was lying down on his bed, lights off, curtains fully open, listening to Nezumi's ipod. Lights from the headlights of the street cars rushing monotonously were creating mysterious beast-like shapes on the wall. They were reminding him a past that he had never lived. The evil-servants of the enemy he had to fight in some kind of heroic quest which he was the hero and certainly, he had to save Nezumi. He laughed at the idea. S_uch a haunting melody- making me think things like that. Yet, so captivating_, thought Shion._ Nezumi's taste_… There was something wicked about how the music played with the strings of his heart, like a witch inviting him, and he was not hesitating to follow at all. It was then that Shion closed his eyes, and dreamed about a huge fire in the midst of a hidden forest.

A forest, where all of those undesirable creatures, sad and alone, treated as useless remnant of human beings for so long that they forgot who they really were once, all the grotesque characters directly came to a life from a horror book, gathered together. A fire in the middle of the forest. And there in the middle of that fire, stood Nezumi. His hair was dancing with the flames, and his eyes were two grey mercury drops: sharp, yet smooth. He was in the middle of the fire. A fire surrounded by the dark, and the even darker reflections of the occupants of the night. A fire which could not light. He was in the middle of the fire, and all the shadows were kneeling before this fallen angel. An angel who was unable to fly, even quirkier than the fire. The shadows were creating a circle around the fire and praying to the angel for salvation, but none of them dared to touch the fire. The angel's lips were firmly closed, but the trembling of his lower lip was giving away his sadness._ How sad to be alone. Alone in the fire. How sad not to be loved._ He was looking right into Shion's heart. It was then, Shion decided to walk into the fire, just to hold the hand of the beautiful angel, who he fell in love at first sight. He, without fearing to be burned, walked into the fire with the witch's devilish tune in his mind and held the hands of the angel so tight. It was then the fire died, the angel grew wings, and all the doomed beasts were dismissed from the dark.

It was Shion's first time hearing Gnossienne No.1. What a strange dream, he thought, and touched the replay again.


	3. Fall

"I like fall."

"You like everything!"

"No, I do not!"

"Tell me something you do not like then?"

"Hah, easy! I do absolutely not like eucalyptus flavoured sweets!"

"Really, that is it?"

"Yeah." said Shion, and laughed.

The small park itself was gloomy, not much was there except the old banks, two swings and a worn out seesaw which have now left behind by the kids ever since the rains began, and giant poplar trees surrounded around. The boys were only occupants of this lonely place, and the chains of the swings were creaking.

"Shion?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you —", Nezumi stopped. _What do you like most?. "_Never mind!_"_

"Huuh, what is it?"

Nezumi shrugged his shoulders, and averted his eyes.

Shion gave a little speed to his swing. "I like fall, but more than that I like Septembers. There is always something special about them. Don't you think so?", asked Shion.

"Why, I never thought about that."

"Every year as long as you are a student, you start a whole new life in September. No matter how old you are, you always feel like you mature a little under the summer's long hot gaze. It is like you leave your old yourself in the summer, and wear a new skin and emotions when september comes. Not only you, but also weather changes as if to praise your new self."

Shion turned his head to see Nezumi's expression, but he seemed spaced out. "Nezumi?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you listening?"

"I am." said Nezumi. He crushed a pile of leaves under his feet. "Then these leaves, they are falling for to say good-bye to old selves?"

Shion got a little surprise to hear him go on where he left. "Hmm, Let me think.", Shion said. It was a short pause, and then he went on smiling, "No. They are falling to greet our new selves, to show a path for us." _So, he was listening_.

"You know, there will be days when Septembers will be no longer have the same meaning." Nezumi said. There were dreary shadows on his mist coloured eyes.

"You mean, when we graduate?", asked Shion.

"Yeah, something like that."

The pause this time was much longer than the previous one. Nervous leaves on the nearest poplar shook with fear as the light wind played with them naughtly.

"Then we find a new September together when the time comes." Shion said finally.

_Together. _Dark embraced the city, and the boys sat on their swings without speaking till the first lamp in the park was lit. Then Shion jumped suddenly, "I want to dance."

"What, here?"

"Yes, is it wrong? Nobody's here."

"Like I care even if there is!"

"Well then.". Shion made an exaggerated curtsey and reach out for Nezumi's hand, and he gave in.

As they turn around and around, the whistle of the wind grew stronger, and the leaves crushed under their feet danced like cozy sparks. One could say, despite the whole lonesomeness of the place, the warmth spread from the waltzing bodies was crowded enough to fill the air. A very familiar tune was vaguely heard from faraway, and it was when Shion leaned into Nezumi's ear, and said,

"I like you the most."


End file.
